Post by Spectre on Oct 6, 2014 0:16:11 GMT -6
Spectre:Okay so..What do I do now? There is no main quest indicators...Ah well..EXPLORE!!!!!
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Barbatos:*Looking around in awe* These buildings, they're so vast and detailed! Why, this must be a land of kings and barons! What wealth this land must posess!....*Looks around* Such bold costumes these people wear.....*Looks at some schoolgirls passing by* Oh my....And these immodest outfits! Is this a city of whores? I see not one maiden with a skirt over her knees..Perhaps that explains how this land acquires its funding for these behemoth structures....
Sirens are heard.
Barbatos:*Covers his ears in discomfort*
A police car stops by Barbatos, he backs up in a panic.
Officer:*Steps out of the car* Hey, we're getting alot of calls about indecent exposure, where are your clothes?
Barbatos:My clothes?...OH! I completely forgot!
Officer:Very funny. Indecent exposure is a 500 bone fine. *holds out his hand*
Officer 2:*In the car* I thought it was just 300 bones?
Officer:Shut. Up. *Slams the door on him* Alright, fork it over. *Hols out his hand*
Barbatos:..Bones? Why would you fine me bones? And why so many, even if it were rat bones carrying around 500 would be very inconvinient. Does it have to be a particular kind of bone?...Alright, hang on a second...*Retches*....*Hacks*...*Blood begins seeping from his mouth as his eyes roll to the back of his head*..*pukes up a condensed, half-way digest bone* Bleck...Will that cover it?
Officer:VENUS LOVELACE!!!! *Draws a pistol and begins filling Barbatos with bullets*
Barbatos:OW!*Shot* OW! *Headshot* DAMN IT, *Groin shot* MMPH!! *eye shot* DAMN IT-
The officer runs out of bullets, he takes out his nightstick and begins beating him down. After beating him to the point where all of his limbs and face are broken, he picks him up and tosses him in the back of the car and drive off.
Officer 2: DUDE, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!?
Officer :Hell if I know, but he puked in front of the wrong officer!
They drive off towards the police station
_____________________
Spectre:Aww man, I got busted!
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Later;
Officer 2:Actually, what you did was illegal. He wasn't assaulting you-
Officr :Thats where you're wrong. For one thing, he scared the shit out of me. Two, spitting on an officer counts as assault, therefore vomiting on one counts as attempted murder!
Officer 2: No it doesn't.
Officer:In this unit, it does!
Officer 2:He didn't even vomit on you!
Officer:He got some on my right shoe. I just got these to boot!
Officer 2:But-
Officer:NO BUTS. Who's the rookie here?
Officer 2: Me, but-
Officer:See, this is why you aren't a full fledged cop. You ask too many questions and say too many "Buts" when a superior does something. And have the AUDACITY to go by the actual regulations taught to you at the academy instead of a veteran cop like me!
Officer 2:But the regulations extend to-
Officer:WE WROTE THE REGULATIONS, WE CAN DO WHATEVER THE HELL WE WANT WITH THEM.
Officer2:But you didn't,The governing body who established the New Meridian Police Department did!
OFFICER:THE REGULATIONS APPLY WHEN WE NEED THEM TO!!! *floors it*
The car rockets toward the police station.
Officer 2:NOW YOU'RE SPEEDING!!! And you'e not wearing your seatbelt!!
Officer:*Clearly going mad*SEATBELTS BE DAMNED, IAMABOVETHELAW!!!!
Officer 2:*Holding on for dear life* I'M REQUESTING A TRANSFER TO ANOTHER UNIT!!!
Officer:INSIDE OF THIS CAR. *Head spins around as his eyes shrink, revealing the void of his socket behind them, his mouth widens into a massive, long-toothed grin, he speaks in a demonic tone* YOUR GODDESSES WORSHIP MEEEEEEEEEE!!!
Officer 2:*Screams in horror*
Officer:*Warped, demonic laughter*
______________________
Spectre:*Scared, hiding behind a blanket* WHO WROTE THIS AND WHAT WHERE THEY ON!?!
______________________
The car crashes into a fire hydrant, the crazed officer flies through the windshield like a rocket, still laughing and twisting his neck as he sails through the air, he crashes into the side of a brick building and splatters into a gooey mess.
Officer 2:*Hyperventilating*....*Leaps out of his window and begins kissing the ground*
Barbatos:..*Looking through the glass separating the front from the back seat*...Okay, that fellow was rather full of himself...*Bites the chains of his handcuffs, freeing himself and pushes the back door open with his leg*....What is this mysterious craft...*closes the doors and steps in the front seat*..Lets see..From my observation he*Sits down*...Slammed his foot against this lever on the floor.....
Oh dear.
0:00-0:20 plays as Barbatos eyes the gas pedal intently.
He floors it.
The song picks up as the car takes off again, taking the fire hydrant with it.
Officer 2:*Watches it go*...Forget it, I gotta go hug my wife and kid! *Cries and runs away*
Barbatos:*Driving at maximum speed* WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! THIS IS THE MOST FUN I'VE HAD SINCE...SINCE...I CAN'T REMEMBER!!
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Spectre:What the-what gives!? the controls are all screwed up, they're, THEY'RE RANDOMIZING AND ACTIVATING ON THEIR OWN!? *Desperately tries to control the car*
______________________
The car is leaning side-to-side as he drives it, narrowly and miraculously avoiding pedestrians and overall putting itself and the world around it through panic and hell. He drives straight up a skyscraper, still screaming in excitement.
Barbatos:WHO INVENTED THIS AMAZING MACHINE!?
The car arrives on the roof, he drives towards the ramp-like back of the door leading to the roof and takes off into the sky.
Barbatos:I'M FLYING, I'M ACTUALY FLYING-
The car slams into the wing of a low-flying airplane, tearing it off and sending Barbatos flying out of the busted windshield. He begins flailing and screaming.
Barbatos:OH DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-
Barbatos descends to the ground, making comical airplane crash effects. He skids along the ground at breakneck speed, kicking up sparks and blood as he scraps against the pavement. He ignites himself on fire.
Barbatos:OWOWOWOWOWOHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTOWOWOWOWOHOOOOOOOT-
He crashes into the side of a building, going clean through the wall and crashing into a large body of water, steam hisses as he submerges.
Barbatos:(A shrivelled, crispy, hairless corpse-shaped wad of black, deep fried meat, having all of his limbs grinded off besides his right arm which is almost skeletal)...Auuuuugh......That feels so good.....
The music stops.
He uses his one arm to work his way over to the side of the pool, pulling himself out.
He's in the Bath of Tefnut.
Barbatos:*Face is completely missing besides a weak mockey of a jawbone and a couple teeth* I'm in pain.......*Sniffs, his inner nostrils are still functional*......I smell blood...Ohhh yes...I need it...*Coughs* ..
He weakly drags himself off in the direction of the blood scent. It takes him about 30 minutes to get there, but he makes it. He crawls down some stairs into what appears to be a dungeon-like cellar. Barrels upon barrels of blood are present there, along with various wine bottles filled with the stuff.
Barbatos:.....*Weakly moves over to a keg and pops his mouth onto the spigot, turning the knob*....Oh...*Breaks away for a moment, he begins healing* I was mistaken, NOW I'm in heaven! *begins guzzling it down with all of his strength.*
Barbatos moves from keg to keg, drinking all of it's contents completely and rapidly. He drains numerous kegs. When the spigots to pour blood fast enough, he bites off a hunk of the keg's bottom and latches his mouth onto it. eventually getting to the point where his torso actually seems bloated.
Barbatos:*Fully healed, he's now wearing a pitch-black 3 peice suit with a white shirt*Aw...Aww yes..I couldn't drink another drop...I JEST!!! *moves onto another keg*
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Spectre:Dood, this guy can EAT!
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"You grow in power as you consume flesh and blood. Never waste the spoils of a kill, or stumbling upon a mass of corpses or blood."
Barbatos:*Still drinking*
The basement door opens.
Albus:Alright, she wanted the 70-year old sarg bottle, right?
Horace:*Yelling over distance* Yes, thats the one! Get it while I clean up this trail of black rubbish..
Albus:Alrighty..*walks down whistling*.....GYAH!!!
Albus looks at the destroyed kegs.
Albus:HORACE, WE GOTTA PROBLEM!
Horace:*Yelling* Hold on!
The portly man-bird walks into the basement.
Horace:..*Eyes widen at the scene, he takes off his glasses* GREAT SCOT! We've got blood theives!!! Worse of all, this could mean Lady Eliza could get exposed!!
Albus:*Sniffs the air*..Somethin's still in here.
Barbatos:*Peeks from behind a barrel trying to bite the cork out of a bottle*.......
Albus/Horace:.........
Albus:WHAT IS THAT THING!?
Horace:*Assumes combat pose* Fiend, no-one steals from the crimson scourge and lives to tell the tale!
Barbatos:.."Crimson Scourge"?....Are you two part of a vampire coven or something?
Albus:You wish! *growls*
Barbatos:*holds hands up* Hold on, hold on-this may just be what i was looking for. I am a foreigner to these lands, you see. A fugitive, really. There aren't many who would get along with the likes of me and I'm hoping that maybe we could come to an understanding?
Horace:You've drunken decades worth of blood!! How can you hold it all!?
Barbatos:Hey, I was REALLY thirsty. And dying. That cripsy trail you saw up there? Mine.
Eliza:Albus, Horace! Whats taking you so long to get that blood? *Steps down*
Albus:We're takin' care of it, boss!
Horace:We'll be right up, milady, just a bit of a rat problem!
Barbatos:I'm not a rat....
Eliza:Who's that talking?! *Walks over*....Who's this?
Horace:This creature has consumed a large portion of your blood supply, milady!
Barbatos:If you would allow for me to speak for myself you'd understand my reasoning!
Eliza:*Rubs chin* Hm...Go on, then.
Barbatos:*Outlines Elizas curves* (Hosanna....) Ah, my name is Barbatos, my lady. You see, I've been in a rather nasty accident that led to me crash-landing into your abode, which I must say is almost as stunning as you are, and I was gravely injured. I followed the scent of blood down to this cellar and nourished myself, but I suppose in the process I became a little..Overzealous, a thousand apologies for my gluttoney!
Eliza:Well! So polite!...And I see you didn't drink any of my vintages. The kegs were just....Aging.
Barbatos: Erm, yes...I almost got started on one, though. *Hands her the bottle* Sorry....If I may be so bold, you have probably already drawn the conclusion that I have particular needs that many narrow-minded humans would consider vile, and I was hoping, through your grace, I might be able to serve you? I have no place to lay my head.
Eliza:Hrrrm...Can you cook?
Barbatos:Yes.
Eliza:Then welcome aboard!
Horace:But-But milady! He consumed twenty years worth of blood! YOUR SUSTENANCE!
Eliza:Calm yourself Horace, can't you see he's one of my kind? The world can be so harsh and judgemental on us, not to mention he's so eager to serve! And lets face it, you two cant cook properly to save your skins.
Albus:But I've been practicing extra hard!
Eliza: *Deadpan* That soup you made me the other day had a live cobra in it.
Albus:*Scratches the back of his head* So I misread "Carrots". We all make mistakes.
Eliza/Horace/Barbatos:.......................
Eliza:Yes, he's going to be my new cook and butler!
Horace:It's your descision, milady. *Narrows his eyes at Barbatos* You had best listen to her every word, I've got my eye on you!
Barbatos:Thank you, so gracious..... I don't require much, just feed me and give me a place to sleep and I'll be happy. I have little preference when it comes to food so just give me whatever run-of-the-mill stuff that you acquire...Where do you get your blood anyway?
Eliza:Oh, perks of owning a blood charity drive....It's completely ethical, we get plenty, don't worry.
Barbatos:"Blood Charity"? What is that?
Eliza:..You know, blood transfusions?
Barbatos:..Trans-fusion?
Eliza:I take it your from a rather...Rustic region?..Basically humans can help one another by donating a portion of their blood and having it injected into an accident victim or something, I just take about five percent to keep myself nourished, I can't really fun the drives If I'm dead and pruny, now can I?
Barbatos:Humans can share blood now? My how far they have advanced...
Eliza:Anyway, here. *Hands him an earpeice* Just put this over your ear and I can communicate with you whenever I need something.
Barbatos:Much appreciated!
Eliza:Shouldn't have to use it much, I'll have to accompanying me most of the time. Come, I'll show you the kitchen.
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Spectre:*Exploring Bath of Tefnut* Dood, this place is HUGE! Eliza must make a fortune!.....Okay, I'm in the kitchen, now how do I cook...?
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Barbatos is standing in the kitchen, looking around at the various appliances. There's also the nescesarry equipment to create beer.
Barbatos:...Hrm..A brewery of some sort? *Sniffs the equipment*....I could go for some spirits. *Moves over to the stove*......Od device...*Messes with the knobs, activating the burners*...Must be some sort of device that creates little bonfires for cooking..*Picks up a cookbook*...Hrrrm...I wonder what she likes? *Flipping the pages* These dishes look so clean and..Organized! Back in my day we just skewed a goat over a fire and applied salt....
Barbatos moves over to the refridgerator and looks inside.
Barbatos:Oh! How delightful! Its a storage container for keeping things cold! Imagine what we could preserve with this!...Quite alot of tasty things in here. *Sniffs* No idea how people of this age like their food, but I suppose I'll do my best.
"Equip your chef's hat and apron, Eliza wants her desserts."
Barbatos walks over to a pantry and equips chef gear.
Barbatos:What a bizzare hat!.....huh?*Takes it off and shakes it, a rat falls out and looks at him* Why hello there little fellow! Are you here to help me cook?
Rat:*Squeaks and runs off*
Barbatos:Well thats a downer...
"Press A to cook, Barbatos is a natural."
Barbatos looks through a cookbook and makes a strawberry torte in a brief montage.
Barbatos:*Holds the cake over his head* Childs play.
"As long as the ingredients are on hand, Barbatos can cook almost anything. His dishes can be given as gifts to others to increase their disposition."
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Spectre:...Wow.
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At the pool, Eliza is relaxing whilst drinking a beer.
Barbatos:*Walks over to her* Your torte, milady! *Grins and presents it, along with a fork*
Albus:*Steps in between them* Not so fast! We gotta make sure it ain't poisoned!
Eliza:*Sighs* Just indulge them hon, they're simply protective of me.
Albus takes out a pocket knife, which also unfolds into a fork. He takes a bite of the cake.
Albus:......Thats uh....Thats the best thing I've eaten in years...*Scratches the back of his head*
Horace:Seriously? Hrm, let me see. *Tries it*....TUT'S CROOK! Thats...*Reluctantly* Amazing.
Eliza:Hmm...*Takes a bite*....*Eyes widen as she Grabs the torte and begins eating it*
Barbatos:Enjoying it?
Eliza: It's exquisite, darling!
Albus/Horace:*Growl*
Barbatos:If you would like, I could make you some.
Horace:I'm fine, I need to watch my waistline.
Albus:Heh, no kidding.
Horace:Ah, to be young with a properly functioning metabolism.
___________________
Barbatos:*Looking around in awe* These buildings, they're so vast and detailed! Why, this must be a land of kings and barons! What wealth this land must posess!....*Looks around* Such bold costumes these people wear.....*Looks at some schoolgirls passing by* Oh my....And these immodest outfits! Is this a city of whores? I see not one maiden with a skirt over her knees..Perhaps that explains how this land acquires its funding for these behemoth structures....
Sirens are heard.
Barbatos:*Covers his ears in discomfort*
A police car stops by Barbatos, he backs up in a panic.
Officer:*Steps out of the car* Hey, we're getting alot of calls about indecent exposure, where are your clothes?
Barbatos:My clothes?...OH! I completely forgot!
Officer:Very funny. Indecent exposure is a 500 bone fine. *holds out his hand*
Officer 2:*In the car* I thought it was just 300 bones?
Officer:Shut. Up. *Slams the door on him* Alright, fork it over. *Hols out his hand*
Barbatos:..Bones? Why would you fine me bones? And why so many, even if it were rat bones carrying around 500 would be very inconvinient. Does it have to be a particular kind of bone?...Alright, hang on a second...*Retches*....*Hacks*...*Blood begins seeping from his mouth as his eyes roll to the back of his head*..*pukes up a condensed, half-way digest bone* Bleck...Will that cover it?
Officer:VENUS LOVELACE!!!! *Draws a pistol and begins filling Barbatos with bullets*
Barbatos:OW!*Shot* OW! *Headshot* DAMN IT, *Groin shot* MMPH!! *eye shot* DAMN IT-
The officer runs out of bullets, he takes out his nightstick and begins beating him down. After beating him to the point where all of his limbs and face are broken, he picks him up and tosses him in the back of the car and drive off.
Officer 2: DUDE, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!?
Officer :Hell if I know, but he puked in front of the wrong officer!
They drive off towards the police station
_____________________
Spectre:Aww man, I got busted!
_____________________
Later;
Officer 2:Actually, what you did was illegal. He wasn't assaulting you-
Officr :Thats where you're wrong. For one thing, he scared the shit out of me. Two, spitting on an officer counts as assault, therefore vomiting on one counts as attempted murder!
Officer 2: No it doesn't.
Officer:In this unit, it does!
Officer 2:He didn't even vomit on you!
Officer:He got some on my right shoe. I just got these to boot!
Officer 2:But-
Officer:NO BUTS. Who's the rookie here?
Officer 2: Me, but-
Officer:See, this is why you aren't a full fledged cop. You ask too many questions and say too many "Buts" when a superior does something. And have the AUDACITY to go by the actual regulations taught to you at the academy instead of a veteran cop like me!
Officer 2:But the regulations extend to-
Officer:WE WROTE THE REGULATIONS, WE CAN DO WHATEVER THE HELL WE WANT WITH THEM.
Officer2:But you didn't,The governing body who established the New Meridian Police Department did!
OFFICER:THE REGULATIONS APPLY WHEN WE NEED THEM TO!!! *floors it*
The car rockets toward the police station.
Officer 2:NOW YOU'RE SPEEDING!!! And you'e not wearing your seatbelt!!
Officer:*Clearly going mad*SEATBELTS BE DAMNED, IAMABOVETHELAW!!!!
Officer 2:*Holding on for dear life* I'M REQUESTING A TRANSFER TO ANOTHER UNIT!!!
Officer:INSIDE OF THIS CAR. *Head spins around as his eyes shrink, revealing the void of his socket behind them, his mouth widens into a massive, long-toothed grin, he speaks in a demonic tone* YOUR GODDESSES WORSHIP MEEEEEEEEEE!!!
Officer 2:*Screams in horror*
Officer:*Warped, demonic laughter*
______________________
Spectre:*Scared, hiding behind a blanket* WHO WROTE THIS AND WHAT WHERE THEY ON!?!
______________________
The car crashes into a fire hydrant, the crazed officer flies through the windshield like a rocket, still laughing and twisting his neck as he sails through the air, he crashes into the side of a brick building and splatters into a gooey mess.
Officer 2:*Hyperventilating*....*Leaps out of his window and begins kissing the ground*
Barbatos:..*Looking through the glass separating the front from the back seat*...Okay, that fellow was rather full of himself...*Bites the chains of his handcuffs, freeing himself and pushes the back door open with his leg*....What is this mysterious craft...*closes the doors and steps in the front seat*..Lets see..From my observation he*Sits down*...Slammed his foot against this lever on the floor.....
Oh dear.
0:00-0:20 plays as Barbatos eyes the gas pedal intently.
He floors it.
The song picks up as the car takes off again, taking the fire hydrant with it.
Officer 2:*Watches it go*...Forget it, I gotta go hug my wife and kid! *Cries and runs away*
Barbatos:*Driving at maximum speed* WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! THIS IS THE MOST FUN I'VE HAD SINCE...SINCE...I CAN'T REMEMBER!!
____________________
Spectre:What the-what gives!? the controls are all screwed up, they're, THEY'RE RANDOMIZING AND ACTIVATING ON THEIR OWN!? *Desperately tries to control the car*
______________________
The car is leaning side-to-side as he drives it, narrowly and miraculously avoiding pedestrians and overall putting itself and the world around it through panic and hell. He drives straight up a skyscraper, still screaming in excitement.
Barbatos:WHO INVENTED THIS AMAZING MACHINE!?
The car arrives on the roof, he drives towards the ramp-like back of the door leading to the roof and takes off into the sky.
Barbatos:I'M FLYING, I'M ACTUALY FLYING-
The car slams into the wing of a low-flying airplane, tearing it off and sending Barbatos flying out of the busted windshield. He begins flailing and screaming.
Barbatos:OH DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-
Barbatos descends to the ground, making comical airplane crash effects. He skids along the ground at breakneck speed, kicking up sparks and blood as he scraps against the pavement. He ignites himself on fire.
Barbatos:OWOWOWOWOWOHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTOWOWOWOWOHOOOOOOOT-
He crashes into the side of a building, going clean through the wall and crashing into a large body of water, steam hisses as he submerges.
Barbatos:(A shrivelled, crispy, hairless corpse-shaped wad of black, deep fried meat, having all of his limbs grinded off besides his right arm which is almost skeletal)...Auuuuugh......That feels so good.....
The music stops.
He uses his one arm to work his way over to the side of the pool, pulling himself out.
He's in the Bath of Tefnut.
Barbatos:*Face is completely missing besides a weak mockey of a jawbone and a couple teeth* I'm in pain.......*Sniffs, his inner nostrils are still functional*......I smell blood...Ohhh yes...I need it...*Coughs* ..
He weakly drags himself off in the direction of the blood scent. It takes him about 30 minutes to get there, but he makes it. He crawls down some stairs into what appears to be a dungeon-like cellar. Barrels upon barrels of blood are present there, along with various wine bottles filled with the stuff.
Barbatos:.....*Weakly moves over to a keg and pops his mouth onto the spigot, turning the knob*....Oh...*Breaks away for a moment, he begins healing* I was mistaken, NOW I'm in heaven! *begins guzzling it down with all of his strength.*
Barbatos moves from keg to keg, drinking all of it's contents completely and rapidly. He drains numerous kegs. When the spigots to pour blood fast enough, he bites off a hunk of the keg's bottom and latches his mouth onto it. eventually getting to the point where his torso actually seems bloated.
Barbatos:*Fully healed, he's now wearing a pitch-black 3 peice suit with a white shirt*Aw...Aww yes..I couldn't drink another drop...I JEST!!! *moves onto another keg*
____________
Spectre:Dood, this guy can EAT!
____________
"You grow in power as you consume flesh and blood. Never waste the spoils of a kill, or stumbling upon a mass of corpses or blood."
Barbatos:*Still drinking*
The basement door opens.
Albus:Alright, she wanted the 70-year old sarg bottle, right?
Horace:*Yelling over distance* Yes, thats the one! Get it while I clean up this trail of black rubbish..
Albus:Alrighty..*walks down whistling*.....GYAH!!!
Albus looks at the destroyed kegs.
Albus:HORACE, WE GOTTA PROBLEM!
Horace:*Yelling* Hold on!
The portly man-bird walks into the basement.
Horace:..*Eyes widen at the scene, he takes off his glasses* GREAT SCOT! We've got blood theives!!! Worse of all, this could mean Lady Eliza could get exposed!!
Albus:*Sniffs the air*..Somethin's still in here.
Barbatos:*Peeks from behind a barrel trying to bite the cork out of a bottle*.......
Albus/Horace:.........
Albus:WHAT IS THAT THING!?
Horace:*Assumes combat pose* Fiend, no-one steals from the crimson scourge and lives to tell the tale!
Barbatos:.."Crimson Scourge"?....Are you two part of a vampire coven or something?
Albus:You wish! *growls*
Barbatos:*holds hands up* Hold on, hold on-this may just be what i was looking for. I am a foreigner to these lands, you see. A fugitive, really. There aren't many who would get along with the likes of me and I'm hoping that maybe we could come to an understanding?
Horace:You've drunken decades worth of blood!! How can you hold it all!?
Barbatos:Hey, I was REALLY thirsty. And dying. That cripsy trail you saw up there? Mine.
Eliza:Albus, Horace! Whats taking you so long to get that blood? *Steps down*
Albus:We're takin' care of it, boss!
Horace:We'll be right up, milady, just a bit of a rat problem!
Barbatos:I'm not a rat....
Eliza:Who's that talking?! *Walks over*....Who's this?
Horace:This creature has consumed a large portion of your blood supply, milady!
Barbatos:If you would allow for me to speak for myself you'd understand my reasoning!
Eliza:*Rubs chin* Hm...Go on, then.
Barbatos:*Outlines Elizas curves* (Hosanna....) Ah, my name is Barbatos, my lady. You see, I've been in a rather nasty accident that led to me crash-landing into your abode, which I must say is almost as stunning as you are, and I was gravely injured. I followed the scent of blood down to this cellar and nourished myself, but I suppose in the process I became a little..Overzealous, a thousand apologies for my gluttoney!
Eliza:Well! So polite!...And I see you didn't drink any of my vintages. The kegs were just....Aging.
Barbatos: Erm, yes...I almost got started on one, though. *Hands her the bottle* Sorry....If I may be so bold, you have probably already drawn the conclusion that I have particular needs that many narrow-minded humans would consider vile, and I was hoping, through your grace, I might be able to serve you? I have no place to lay my head.
Eliza:Hrrrm...Can you cook?
Barbatos:Yes.
Eliza:Then welcome aboard!
Horace:But-But milady! He consumed twenty years worth of blood! YOUR SUSTENANCE!
Eliza:Calm yourself Horace, can't you see he's one of my kind? The world can be so harsh and judgemental on us, not to mention he's so eager to serve! And lets face it, you two cant cook properly to save your skins.
Albus:But I've been practicing extra hard!
Eliza: *Deadpan* That soup you made me the other day had a live cobra in it.
Albus:*Scratches the back of his head* So I misread "Carrots". We all make mistakes.
Eliza/Horace/Barbatos:.......................
Eliza:Yes, he's going to be my new cook and butler!
Horace:It's your descision, milady. *Narrows his eyes at Barbatos* You had best listen to her every word, I've got my eye on you!
Barbatos:Thank you, so gracious..... I don't require much, just feed me and give me a place to sleep and I'll be happy. I have little preference when it comes to food so just give me whatever run-of-the-mill stuff that you acquire...Where do you get your blood anyway?
Eliza:Oh, perks of owning a blood charity drive....It's completely ethical, we get plenty, don't worry.
Barbatos:"Blood Charity"? What is that?
Eliza:..You know, blood transfusions?
Barbatos:..Trans-fusion?
Eliza:I take it your from a rather...Rustic region?..Basically humans can help one another by donating a portion of their blood and having it injected into an accident victim or something, I just take about five percent to keep myself nourished, I can't really fun the drives If I'm dead and pruny, now can I?
Barbatos:Humans can share blood now? My how far they have advanced...
Eliza:Anyway, here. *Hands him an earpeice* Just put this over your ear and I can communicate with you whenever I need something.
Barbatos:Much appreciated!
Eliza:Shouldn't have to use it much, I'll have to accompanying me most of the time. Come, I'll show you the kitchen.
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Spectre:*Exploring Bath of Tefnut* Dood, this place is HUGE! Eliza must make a fortune!.....Okay, I'm in the kitchen, now how do I cook...?
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Barbatos is standing in the kitchen, looking around at the various appliances. There's also the nescesarry equipment to create beer.
Barbatos:...Hrm..A brewery of some sort? *Sniffs the equipment*....I could go for some spirits. *Moves over to the stove*......Od device...*Messes with the knobs, activating the burners*...Must be some sort of device that creates little bonfires for cooking..*Picks up a cookbook*...Hrrrm...I wonder what she likes? *Flipping the pages* These dishes look so clean and..Organized! Back in my day we just skewed a goat over a fire and applied salt....
Barbatos moves over to the refridgerator and looks inside.
Barbatos:Oh! How delightful! Its a storage container for keeping things cold! Imagine what we could preserve with this!...Quite alot of tasty things in here. *Sniffs* No idea how people of this age like their food, but I suppose I'll do my best.
"Equip your chef's hat and apron, Eliza wants her desserts."
Barbatos walks over to a pantry and equips chef gear.
Barbatos:What a bizzare hat!.....huh?*Takes it off and shakes it, a rat falls out and looks at him* Why hello there little fellow! Are you here to help me cook?
Rat:*Squeaks and runs off*
Barbatos:Well thats a downer...
"Press A to cook, Barbatos is a natural."
Barbatos looks through a cookbook and makes a strawberry torte in a brief montage.
Barbatos:*Holds the cake over his head* Childs play.
"As long as the ingredients are on hand, Barbatos can cook almost anything. His dishes can be given as gifts to others to increase their disposition."
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Spectre:...Wow.
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At the pool, Eliza is relaxing whilst drinking a beer.
Barbatos:*Walks over to her* Your torte, milady! *Grins and presents it, along with a fork*
Albus:*Steps in between them* Not so fast! We gotta make sure it ain't poisoned!
Eliza:*Sighs* Just indulge them hon, they're simply protective of me.
Albus takes out a pocket knife, which also unfolds into a fork. He takes a bite of the cake.
Albus:......Thats uh....Thats the best thing I've eaten in years...*Scratches the back of his head*
Horace:Seriously? Hrm, let me see. *Tries it*....TUT'S CROOK! Thats...*Reluctantly* Amazing.
Eliza:Hmm...*Takes a bite*....*Eyes widen as she Grabs the torte and begins eating it*
Barbatos:Enjoying it?
Eliza: It's exquisite, darling!
Albus/Horace:*Growl*
Barbatos:If you would like, I could make you some.
Horace:I'm fine, I need to watch my waistline.
Albus:Heh, no kidding.
Horace:Ah, to be young with a properly functioning metabolism.